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Sunday, September 29, 2013

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XVII | 10 THINGS OF THANKFUL | XVII


This should get in a bit earlier than my previous forays into the TToT blog hop, but it is honestly the one closest to the point of never being published. It’s just been that emotional of a week, and as I reached the end of the week my enthusiasm for writing in the blog hop had dwindled substantially.

The week started off with my grandmother going into the clinic, for what was believed backup issues, which then lead to her having to be admitted into the hospital. There, they found she was exhibiting an irregular heartbeat and had to have some extensive testing done. I didn’t find out about what was going on, though, until Thursday. She hadn’t called me, though I know she brought various phone numbers with her, my father hadn’t called me, and all my calls to her were met with endless ringing (she is old-school, so no voicemail for her…). Finally, Thursday I was able to reach my father who updated me as to what exactly happened and that evening when she got home she called to talk. She tries not to call my cell phone being I get in trouble for personal use time and have been charged by my company for minutes, but it would have been nice to have been given a heads up. A voicemail, if nothing else…

So when that stressful incident cleared up another, of a more personal nature, reared it’s ugly head. At this point I was in full “Fuck It” mode. Eventually that was hashed out and things hit a mediocre sense of norm. What I was left with, though, was a strong desire to take a break from blogging. I’ve been falling almost two weeks behind on posts anyhow (and that is just TToT posts), and thought a fresh start after some time away would help.

Then I was on the fence. but leaning towards doing the post, even coaxing my girlfriend — who also has been feeling down — to do the same, citing it as the best time to participate. This morning, however, I decided I wouldn’t be a part of the blog hop and/or post any of my blog series this week, and quite possibly the week or two after.

When I hopped onto Facebook this afternoon, my decision flopped yet again after seeing a drawing my friend (and ex co-worker) — who long ago moved to the UK — randomly made for me and posted on my wall. We don’t talk very often, I’d say once every few weeks and that is being generous, so I didn’t take his drawing (and the message on it) as coincidence. It appeared I was being told to buck up and get to it. I will share the picture on Wednesday, but until then let’s see if I can’t crank out a list of Thankfulness and some trailers before then, shall we?

  1. I’m Thankful the doctor at the clinic was able to determine there was more going on with my grandma’s health than just having a terrible bout of backup.
  2. For my father being able to bring her in and spend hours at the hospital while she underwent testing that first night. I have no actual proof he did this and that he didn’t just leave right away (nor will I ask…), but I want to believe he waited around until discovering she would be admitted overnight. I’d imagine, though, with how many hours of testing that needed to be done, that was determined pretty quickly into the evening.
  3. Finally getting in touch with someone to update me on WTF was going on with my grandmother…
  4. Despite finding an irregular heartbeat, it seems that the incident was not life-threatening. At least this is what she told me. She was in the hospital for three days, which to me would suggest it was of some importance she be kept in a monitored state.
  5. Crooks. My cat has been extra lovey this week and it seems he was able to sense I could use the additional comfort.
    How Crooks views himself in the mirror...
  6. I am Thankful for my girlfriend and how supportive — and also cuddly — she has been throughout the week when visiting.
  7. The talks my girlfriend and I have had recently. Some about what we are feeling at any given moment, and others about the possibilities of what is to come in the future. I generally avoid talking too much about the future, I’m pretty bad at visualizing it, making it hard to discuss.
  8. My girlfriend keeping me calm when anxiety-bound upon discovering the Papa Murphy’s pizza I bought was too big for my oven. After a handful of ideas being tossed around, we opted to fold the edge of the pizza in and cut an inch or so off of their Bake-and-Serve pizza tray.
  9. I’m Thankful that, so far, our pizza experiment hasn’t gone completely haywire… I’m freaking starving!
  10. Writing. Even though I was (am?) dead set on taking a break from blogging, I was inspired to write up some rough drafts of future entries. Part of the break would be to actually focus on the type of posts I’ve neglected for months now. Those of a more personal nature — sans blog hops and blog series. One post turned into two and ideas for a few more have come to light. They are rough around the edges, but should flesh out easily enough. So even if I do end up taking a momentary leave of absence from the Blogosphere, it will be with the intention of working on pieces I feel I have sidestepped for far too long.

Feel free to leave your Thankful List in the comments below, if you aren’t participating directly with the blog hop!

25 comments:

  1. It sounds like you had a really rough week. There's a lot to be said for a planned break. Especially with the intention of coming back rejuvinated....I really do hope this week goes better for you and I'm also thankful you have some really good support there.

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    1. There have been a handful lately. I was going to take a break (and did take a week/half), but realized I more than likely won't be blogging much until November ends.

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  2. It's a real pain when someone you love ends up in hospital, and you're left none the wiser for too long a time. I know how that feels, as my mum has just gone through a similar time as your Nan - and with the same results.
    I really hope, and pray, that your Nan can get sorted with the right medications, without having to have any invasive surgery :)

    I'm also glad you had the support of your girlfriend through all of this - it might not make things any better, but it's very true that a problem shared is a problem halved.

    I'm also glad that you went ahead and did some writing, Jak - I know how it feels when things get on top of you, and writing seems to get stale - the only way to solve this is to keep on writing, no matter how bad you might think it is, and then you'll suddenly find yourself on the other side, and with lots of great ideas in the pipeline :)

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    1. She definitely got everything sorted out, to my knowledge. Thank you so much *hug*

      It definitely helps my gf helps be supportive during times like that, I agree! Halved!

      I thought I would have a small surge before Nov hits, but looks like I'm dragging butt again... We shall see what Nov brings.

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  3. Jak I'm so sorry you've been having such a hard time. I can't imagine how frustrating and upsetting it must've been to know that something was wrong with your Grandmother and to be unable to find out more. I'm massively, hugely pleased that she's okay and that the doctors were able to diagnose and support her rapidly.

    Glad you and K are getting on so well, working together as a team and being supportive of one another.

    And well done for this list - this is the kind of time the exercise is for, and you rose to the occasion admirably, my friend. Kudos to you. Looking forward to reading these posts you're working on - time to get them off the back burner, for sure.

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    1. Thank you, LIzzi. So sorry I've been so horribly bad at not replying to comments (it's a huge pet-peeve of mine) and visiting lately. It was pretty maddening. I have an imagination that seems to prefer conjuring up the worst-case-scenarios without fail.

      I may have missed one weekend, but I — kind of — made up for it...

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  4. My mom has beaten death three times now, so I'm a little jumpy when it comes to her health. There was one time, early on in her second battle to live, that she was in the hospital for a couple of days. No one bothered to call me, each assuming someone else did. I know how maddening it is to be left out of the information loop when the person is someone you love to pieces. I'm guessing it wasn't intentional. My mom waited to call me until she got home. Didn't want to worry me.
    Sorry your week has been difficult, but I'm glad you went through with the thankful list. Hope that pizza turned out OK. :)

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    1. She is once touch cookie. That must be where you get it from! Nothing phases you, except rain on a day when you have clothes out on a line and you are 30-45 min or so from home. Everyone needs their one weakness ;-)

      Yeah, it's possible they didn't want to worry me (at least on my grandmother's end), but she has called all previous times. I forgot, but I will have to express to her the importance of doing so in a more timely fashion next time!

      The pizza was delicious!

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    2. one tough* I was not thinking of touching either you or your mother... but maybe a cookie...

      **and if I did touch it would be more than once...

      Okay, I'm just going to shut up...

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  5. Hey great List!
    ( yeah, I'm saying that with a totally straight face. This is, of course, based on a couple of assumptions that I am making, the primary of which, is that I identify with a large segment of the thinking you are experiencing. I say 'great list', because the effort to write *outloud* the things that you have written this week, demand a level of ...courage/Will that is totally impressive to me.

    Hell, anyone can write about the good things and the 'ain't it great to be alive' things.... but to write about the *personal* things, the stuff that almost no one is really going to understand...that takes (fill in your favorite expression of 'guts').

    Speaking from a certain vantage point in the worldview of clarks* I will say, that imo, you will weather this last, and despite not giving advice, I anyway, 'keep writing and leave it all in 'draft' mode until later.
    I would say more about the 'winds on the cliff' which is a charming metaphor applicable to clarks in a similar state, but space and time prohibit this.
    Now get over the Doctrine and write me a damn Comment... you think I'm posting just to read myself thinking?
    (lol)

    *Doctrine secret Rule: no one can tell you which of the three worldviews is your predominant type...that is up to you and only you

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    1. I'm not sure just how courageous or impressive my outpourings are, as I consider myself to be a Coward, but I greatly appreciate the compliment. At some point, I will delve back into the deeper "me" and reconnect with the expressing and sharing of my emotions as I did in my first entries.

      Definitely trudged through it all and came out all find and dandy, even if not sparkly clean.

      I'm incredibly sorry I haven't been visiting over the past few weeks. I'm not sure if this will get noticed by you (I will try to mention it/ask it on your TToT20), but has anyone ever told you it's difficult at times to navigate your site in terms of finding your older posts? Maybe it's just me, as I'm accustomed to having the lists along the side of my blog (and generally others' as well).

      At least I knew that secret rule, but I've come to find there are always new ones to discover :-)

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  6. I am sorry to hear that your grandma hasn't been feeling well. Hopefully she's back to being herself in no time. I totally understand the stress and worry. My grandparents both spent time in the hospital and also at home ill last year. I am the go to person when it comes to their medical stuff, cleaning up after them when they didn't make it to the bathroom, talking with doctors, etc. I totally get it. It's exhausting in every possible way something can be exhausting.

    The pizza thing was pretty hilarious! Way to improvise. :)

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    1. Oh Jessica! *hug* Crap, I'm so behind, don't gut me with a spoon. My grandmother ended up being fine (though, the possibility of having to wear a heart monitor if need be to gather info).

      It's great and very commendable how you are there and support your grandparents in their time of need. Beyond some emotional support, I fear I am a bit useless when it comes to the rest.

      The pizza, if you caught the pics in the MWWednesday post, was full of nums!

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  7. I think we did a great job being creative with our pizza. It is good to remember there are solutions to every problem, even if we don't see it right away -- and the beast of a pizza turned out so nummy!

    I love our talks, and I think we should have them every night. I think they will help us get through the hard times.

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    1. I loved picturing the whole pizza incident! Where there's a will, there's a way.

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    2. I agree we did pretty good and avoided a possible crisis!

      @Dyanne It was pretty funny, and it definitely turned out better than expecting.

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  8. I've sorry it's been a bit of a rough week for you.

    Your pizza incident reminded me of something I read once about a woman who always cut the ends off of hams before baking them. When her husband questioned why she did this, she said it was the way her mom taught her. When she asked her mom why she always cut the ends off of hams, her mom replied it was so the hams would fit in the baking dish. You might just be starting a new tradition, with your folded pizza!

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    1. I've heard this story, too, Kristi! Only it was a roast!

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    2. Thank you, Kristi. They happen and it just sometimes takes me a bit to see any silver linings.

      Haha that is awesome and perhaps it will become a tradition or ritual of sorts. I've already determined if the pizza hadn't been a stuffed (and stuffed-crust) pizza it would have turned out even better and am curious to give it a try next time!

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  9. Glad your grandma is okay... and I like that funny cat T shirt!

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    1. Thank you, Catherine, and she is now. I thought that shirt was awesome :-) I hope you've been doing really well!

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  10. Okay, for the record, I read your post right after you published it and immediately wrote a lovely comment, all from my phone, excited that I was FINALLY going to beat Janine at commenting, but when I hit "publish"--POOF!--it disappeared. So I shall try once again, but it won't be nearly as eloquent, I'm sure.

    I'm going to guess that maybe no one wanted to worry you about your Grandma, and in trying to protect you only made it worse for you. And any time there is a heart issue, they keep the person in the hospital for several days to run tests. She probably had a Holter monitor on so they could record her heart activity for a couple of days and see if there were any irregularities that needed to be addressed. Glad she seemed to check out okay.

    Loving Crooks' alter ego. I thought (when I was looking at it on my phone and it was such a tiny picture) it was a Kliban cat, but I see it isn't. Still totally cool. Are you familiar with B. Kliban and his cat cartoons?

    So happy for you and Kate and your growing relationship. I think I've said it before, but you seem to compliment each other so well and are good for each other. And she's a problem solver!

    I understand feeling burned out with writing the blog and needing to take a break, but just so you know, I would miss you and be waiting very impatiently for your return.

    I hope this next week is a better one for you!

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    1. I am not sure who Janine is, but from the list above I'm guessing Zoe, who's name I thought was Zoe, but juuuuust in case it's one of the others I should know... let's just pretend I didn't bring this up... As I see it, though, you came in almost dead last ;-) and you know... if you don't have pics *shrugs*

      Like Christine mentioned above, that may be the case about not wanting to worry me, but it was oddly out of character given the circumstances. I believe the monitor you mention is similar (or is) the one she mentioned she may have to wear for a while at home for testing. So far, nothing more has been mentioned about it.

      I have no idea what a Kliban cat is, so I will have to google it...holy crap, those are some fat cats haha

      Awww you are too sweet, Dyanne. The break (beyond that recent week/half) is coming up... the Blogosphere probably already has "farewell and good riddance" banners with balloons prepped!

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  11. My mom is also now having heart problems. Similar to your grandmother. I am very sorry to hear about your grandmother.

    On a happy note. I am now finally learning to play Magic. I am still on baby steps when playing. I can't build my own deck. I am thankful I finally took the plunge. It was actually fun and with more playing I will get better.

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    1. Very sorry to hear about your grandmother. I hope she has been doing a lot better.

      Playing Magic now?! That is pretty crazy (awesome)! It just takes some time, practice, and patience to learn the rules and over time you will get better and better :-) Kudos to taking the plunge!

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