(An A to Z 2014 Challenge Entry)
“Absence makes the Heart grow fonder.” - Some Dead Person
“Even though I close my eyes and shut myself off from the world, it’s like I know there’s still two in the bush.” - The Jak, Jak-Speak
“I’m going to enjoy destroying you from the inside out, starting with your Cerebral Cortex.” - Jedidiah
*Taps the screen*
Is there anybody out there?
I know it’s been a long time. Many months have passed since I decided to displace myself from the Blogosphere. Not so much gently as ripped out of it. I began to feel the ever present burden of being unable to actively keep up with others I’d met online via blogging. Reading their blogs, commenting, participating in various blog hops and events.
It never really mattered how many people said over and over “don’t worry about it”, “it’s okay, we understand”, etc etc. Having people comment on my posts (to which I’m actually good about replying to, but then again most are), but then not being able to return the favor just always feels awful to me. Maybe dirty even. But not the good dirty like… you know… ooh la la dirty.
I feel it’s just standard Blogosphere etiquette to return the favor. So once that common courtesy began to lapse on my end, then basically cease to exist, I did what I do best: Shut Down.
But over the last few weeks, I’ve been aware of April fast approaching. And as we all know, April is important for two reasons: Game of Thrones and the A to Z Challenge! In this particular case, I’m referring to the A to Z Challenge. While NaNoWriMo 2012 is what rejuvenated my ability to write more than a paragraph every few years, A to Z 2013 is what kept me motivated to continually write on a more daily basis. The end result was a fine balance of two to three posts a week, which I feel was a great achievement, given the circumstances surrounding my past writer’s block.
Last year, the A to Z Challenge was where I made my first blogging friend (technically, I “met” them just before, and is who I learned about the event from). Shannon from The Warrior Muse (who I am saddened to see isn’t co-hosting this year). We have long since lost touch, which in the Blogosphere means we no longer keep up on one another’s blogs and/or have any contact via social media or other means, I guess. Not much different than other circumstances in which two people drift apart, making this rather redundant. And dramatic sounding…
The point is, it brought me into contact with many people who I eventually regularly communicated with. People I’d come to consider friends. People I could see myself spending actual face to face time, as awkward as that may be at times in such context. Even the weird ones, and there are plenty of those. So I’m prone to be drawn back to those experiences that have brought positive results into my life.
In the same vein of attempting NaNoWriMo 2013, which was an epic fail for me (possibly to be discussed at some point during this challenge), I shall attempt to embrace the 2014 A to Z Challenge in hopes of regaining that ambition of digging in and getting my hands dirty with all things random.
Of writing coherently. Of writing obscurely. Of just writing.
Even if it only lasts the month of April. Or half or it. Or even this one day. Because it’s already amounted to more writing than I’ve accomplished over the last four months.
So, either way, I win. Though, deep down, I’m hoping to gain more out of this than that. More long term goals I’d like to rekindle.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I believe it can also cause it to darken and grow cold. It’s not easy — hell, maybe even impossible — creating an internal checks and balances system, guaranteeing you don’t succumb to the latter. You can only do the best that you can. That’s what I’m doing. At least that’s what I tell myself…
Whether I believe my own bullshit is a story for another time.
Are you participating in the 2014 A to Z Challenge? Have you ever taken a hiatus? If so, were the results of it positive or negative?