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Sunday, August 25, 2013



This week was another for the books in terms of stress and emotional throttling. Tuesday was the dreaded night of my Sleep Study. For those not familiar, this is where you stay overnight at a specialized clinic where you get hooked up by all these wires and straps designed to document your sleeping habits. I believe it’s mainly to discover if an individual has Sleep Apnea, but believe they can detect all manners of sleep disruption from grinding teeth to restless leg syndrome to not staying in varying levels of deep sleep long enough to gain any real benefit.

I got all hooked up — minus one piece of equipment — and felt decently relaxed. I had company and all the gadgets weren’t extremely intrusive, but I made sure we were finished and that nothing would be placed around my nose or mouth. Unfortunately, that was what that final missing piece of equipment was, and my technologist told me they place it on last because it’s the piece most people hate. They place it on just before beginning the study, and I was concerned. Having things on my face in this area usually causes me to panic.

And panic I did, barely five minutes into the study. Being able to talk on the phone calmed me down for some time (and supposedly I fell asleep, which I don’t recall), but it wasn’t allowed for long and halfway into the Sleep Study (three hours) I threw in the towel. Considering I wasn’t able to sleep, I felt it was pointless as I’d have to return again and my panic was getting really bad feeling trapped there. It was pretty embarrassing and I’m still beating myself up over it. Also, because I wasn’t able to make the entire six hours insurance may not cover it. This is a financial blow I’m not exactly able to endure and I hope some compromise can be met.

Bah! There is more, but on to the good! Things I am Thankful for...

  1. My friend Kate being sweet enough to not only drive me to the Sleep Study (since the demise of my car) and keep me company until it began, but also being patient and picking me up at about 3am when my panic hit a high and I called it quits.
  2. Also, I am thankful she has joined my grandmother and I on Mondays to watch Under the Dome!
  3. I’m very Thankful for the sweet card I received in the mail from my technologist during the Sleep Study. She said she was sorry I was unable to sleep much and hoped to see me back so they can better determine my sleep issues. She was incredibly sweet throughout the entire process and it was a very touching note.
  4. Initiating Radio Silence. During the past week and a half I’ve cut down on my online chatter for the most part via FB/Twitter/Gchat. I also made an executive decision to take a momentary break from reading many of the blogs I’ve been catching up on. It may seem negative, but in reality I begin to get so far behind and become stressed where most of my time is spent catching up, and I barely feel able to complete any of my own specific blog pieces. So I took some time and worked on some of my own personal blog tasks. It helps counteract the assaulting thoughts of giving up on blogging/writing.
  5. Logitech c920. Finally, after months I was able to buy the webcam I’ve been obsessing about. Not that I will participate in the weekend video brunches >.> but it’s a step in the right direction, no?
  1. Trailer Tuesday’s Blog Badge.
  2. Taking the time to focus on writing my first movie review. It was of 2 Guns and I am currently working on Elysium. It was met with positive critique from some long time friends (and some new), and while I feel it was a bit clunky, I think they will get better as I find my voice in the medium.
  3. Make-up sex. ‘Nuff said.
  4. Seeing Kick-Ass 2. One movie I had been really hyped to see and I’m looking forward to attempting a review of it. I think it will be one of the more difficult for me.
  5. Just in case I never mentioned it… I’m Thankful for being honored with Lizzi’s Golden Sideboob Award! I will have it up soon… I’m slow…

Feel free to leave your Thankful List in the comments below, if you aren’t participating directly with the blog hop!


  1. Sorry to hear the sleep study didn't go well :( Hope the compromise on payment can be reached.

    The rest sounds positive :)

    1. I will find out about insurance. Can't lie... I'm pretty anxious about it >.<

  2. I'm so sorry the sleep study didn't work out. I imagine it's difficult to actually sleep in the conditions of a sleep study.

    As for "catching up" on blogs, you don't have to. Blogging is supposed to be fun, not stressful. You don't have to read and comment on every single post a person writes. (Especially with the way you comment, so wonderfully detailed.) Write, be happy. And read when you can. (Except for mine. Read every single word I write. (completely kidding, and you know it.))

    1. ... hey, Jak... what *she* said. (I recurring non-list item for me is having a scott (with a sufficient secondary clarklike aspect) is a good thing.

    2. I thought I'd be able to make it being I was already 3 hours in, but nope. I wasn't going to be sleeping meaning I'd have to go back. Considering I don't even lay down most times until 3am or later... doing so at 11pm was not good. If it was my normal sleep time at least I'd be accustomed and could pass out before panic settled in I think.

      My thing is I want to catch up, and I know people like and appreciate comments and I really like to comment so it makes it rough. I know that I have to let it slide more than I have been, though, because otherwise I'd not get any of my own non blog hop/series related posts done like the review.

  3. hey good listificating!

    I'm sure you've already heard it, ..."hey man, if you would just get some rest before your next test, you won't be so sleepy'
    Anyway...great cam... warning in advance we have fun (well, actually that's the other participants jobs...which they do quite well.... think the last day of Summer school. I do my best to see that everyone meets the Board of Education requirements of a productive session at Doctrine U. while dodging the paper airplanes flying around. and everyone (in class) gets to sit in the back row... lol)

    Serially though, I concur with my esteemed (and steamy) colleague Ms. Coop in that you do not *have* to keep up with all blogs. Better I say, 'dude! ya *can't* keep up!! too-frickin-many of 'em!' I try and failure constantly.
    ...and that's the key... know that this is supposed to be fun (where have I heard that before?...) and while it is tough to not feel that you would not be exceeding the standards of the peer-group that you would aspire to....(lol, yeah, I bet we gave her the slip with that passive, overly complicated sentence...scotts go into a total snore when 2 clarks start to talk to each other...lol)

    (oh!! Christine! I didn't hear you come in...hi!)


    1. I tried to stay up the night before and made sure I was tired for the Sleep Study. It was supposed to begin at 10pm, but they allowed me to wait until 11pm since having company After that I was on my own, and well... it went bad haha

      The cam is one I've been hoping to get on sale for a few weeks now, but it recently was reduced in price by 20$. I kept seeing all the other cameras in the series go on sale, but that one was never touched so I assume it will be some time before it is on sale due to the price cut.

      The blog thing is just that I am a slow reader and my comments can sometimes be as long as a blog post (if not longer than the one I am commenting on, which has happened before and we won't discuss...) I love reading others and it's only fair being we all love people to read and comment on our work. I just need to make sure regardless of where I'm at to balance out and make sure I am not sacrificing my own work as I've a knack for doing (it also helps to build an excuse/reason to not focus on talking about myself...)

      I don't think I plan to ever be as prolific as some of the other bloggers I've met over the last few months haha Even if wanting to I don't have the "chops"

      Maybe podcasting or vlogging >.>

  4. I have always thought that the whole idea of a sleep study was moronic. How much can a person really sleep in that condition? Seriously... Unless they figure out how to do a sleep study in a person's home where they can be in their own environment, I don't know how they could get much "real" data. I know I wouldn't have been able to handle it either. I can't sleep if I have a stuffy nose, let alone with things hooked to my body and face. NO thanks.

    Don't stress too much about not reading other people's blogs. I follow several, but really only read a few on a daily basis. By a few, I mean three. I follow about thirty. I have been blogging more lately because it is the only writing I can seem to find the time to do and I MUST write something; even if it's just a stupid blog post.

    The webcam is cool! I just recently used mine for the very first time and sent a short greeting video to a writer friend of mine who lives overseas so they could see my face and hear my voice. It was the strangest thing, to be talking to a camera.

    Have a great week, Jak!

    1. Exactly. I think you and I share that inability to sleep under those conditions. When I am sick, I'm the worst. I can't sleep and it gets pretty bad. Not being able to breathe through my nose (though, oddly I think I breathe through my mouth most times) drives me nuts.

      They mentioned there was a device I could bring home for free that will collect data on my breathing, but I'd imagine it tests solely for Sleep Apnea given the limited data. So I may have to do that... or they said many take sleeping pills >.<

      I stress because I care and want to read/comment. So I kind of attack myself and feel crummy about it all, and on the flip side as mentioned to Clark above, I let it be used as an excuse to not get into any delving of "me".

      That's really sweet of you. It can be odd, and adds a new sense of "real" to things hence being very hesitant to brunch video chats. That and I'm not up at 9am or earlier on a freakin' weekend morning! Ha :-)

      Thank! You too, and I don't think I've ever seen a "stupid" post from you, though I suppose it depends on how you personally view the material and we are our own worst critics.

  5. Great list dear. And when I said to include me in your list, I didn't mean like 3! Anyways, I am glad we have been able to sort through some stuff etc. Just know, if you need me to try to help you get through another sleep study, I will be there.

    1. Thank you, thank you... I think you'd want me to include you in all of my lists lol Better keep up on being awesome then >.>

      I'm skeptical about another study... afraid of how it may go, but we will see once I have the check-up or whatever. I really appreciate all the help you offered this past week!

  6. UGH that sucks about the sleep study! I don't think I'd have been able to sleep, either. Can't you just hook up your webcam and record yourself when you sleep and send it to them or something? And hey, cheers to makeup sex!

    1. Yeah, it sucks thinking I have to go back and try again, but with sleeping meds (which I am pretty against in general)...

      Having my webcam on while I sleep is what I think Dyanne is hopin... hinting at doing below >.>

  7. My dad recently did the sleep study thing. It wasn't terribly successful for him, either. I think it's a scam to get insurance and medicare money. Nobody can sleep well under those conditions.

    What, exactly, are you planning to do with a web cam if you're not going to participate in things like the video brunch? Nah, nevermind. I really don't think I want to know....

    You know how Christine said not to stress over catching up on blogs, except for hers, which you were expected to read word for word? Then she followed it up with a "just kidding"? Read mine. Not kidding.

    Okay, I'm kidding.

    Or am I?

    Congratulations, Mr. Golden Sideboob!

    1. Sorry I missed this, Dyanne :-( It has nothing to do with you being a once last-place rival... I could see it sounding/seeming like a scam especially with how difficult it is to sleep under those conditions. They mentioned a handful have to come back with sleep meds.

      As Daniel mentioned below, I may try to take-home option.

      Oh, I think you want to know exactly what I'll be doing with said cam >.> And for the price of $29.95 you can find out*

      I plan to read all the blogs! No worries, I'm just slow. I will need a full week of no sleep to catch up on Shanique's!

      *Actually, since I like you and all... $19.95 ;-)

  8. I did an at-home sleep study at first, since I was a night-shifter at the time and sleep labs only seem to run tests at night. It wasn't too bad, although I woke up to discover I had ripped most of the sensors off in my sleep. They stayed on long enough to record enough information about the sleep apnea I already knew I had. At the follow-up study in the lab, though, I was convinced I was never going to fall asleep, and never actually felt like I fell asleep, but apparently I did for long enough that the tech could calibrate the CPAP pressure. They cut me loose early, too. Now I sleep like I'm dead.

    1. I have to do a follow-up, but the lady had said there was a take home unit I could have/use for free to gather info. I'm assuming that is what you are talking about. I'll explore that option pending what they say at the follow-up, because I'd rather do that before going back in for another overnight study.

  9. High-five for no. 8 ;-) Don't worry "catching up", I regularly hit "all-read" and just start on a fresh slate because a gazillion unread posts are scary ;-)

    I'm sorry you weren't able to finish the study. Panic attacks suck! Do you know some meditation or relaxation techniques to maybe end the attack? If not, email me. Those techniques have saved my life (almost)- But glad the technician sent you a note, that's very thoughtful of her!!

    Have a great day tomorrow!

    1. I can see how that is appealing — the fresh slate — but I'm going to attempt to over time just get caught up. If I start working another more standardized job, though, I'm probably perma-screwed.

      Thanks, Stephanie, it was a pain in the ass, but the tech was incredibly nice. I tried some breathing exercises, but depending if nose is stuffy or whatever it can be hard to maintain. Being on the phone or talking to someone distracts me. They only allowed a short people on the phone, though.

      I may have to get in touch about your relaxing techniques.


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